ABOUT ME

I live in a camper van with a couple of West Highland Terriers for company.
My passion is photography but it is a work in progress.
I am always willing to share what knowledge I have and can be contacted through the comments on this post or e-mail ADRIAN
ALL IMAGES WILL ENLARGE WITH A LEFT CLICK

Friday, 20 October 2017

CORAL FUNGUS.

It's been a quietish week but I have had a couple of outings. On Wednesday I went to the Vape shop and got a new tank and a load of spare coils. I replenished my nicotine liquids and enquired why they only came in little 10ml bottles.........the tank on the machine only holds 2ml. Not enough to last the day out if one is working....A bloody EU dictat apparently. Tobacco roll up stuff now has to be sold in large quantities. Barking mad they are.
This is the problem when you get a country with almost as many government employees as proper folk. There is nobody to phone up and annoy. They can hide behind muzak whilst you wait for the correct idiot or press random numbers. The useless blighters have to justify their time, the only blessing is they don't seem to work too hard or for very long. 
We are getting regular visits from some department of the environment people wittering on about the free range pigs. The pigs are very happy here, farrowing in a bed of bracken of the sows choosing and for the most part looking after themselves. Jock does pop a wee tent over her whilst she suckles her issue, to my mind perfect husbandry. They do dig the ground up......It's what pigs do unless you get the Asian ones which just graze like cows and sheep. The really young ones can escape through the new fencing but do no harm. Little tinkers are the very devil to catch....It could become an Olympic sport to rival beach volleyball. Be much better and the little pigs would love the attention of nubile young ladies. There seems no reason to catch them as they go home on their own come nightfall. It would be good to get some beef cattle but if we had a wet winter and had to fetch them in and then slurry spray.... Then imagine the townies that are frightened of cows. A terrifying beast is a bovine unless it is chopped up and shrink wrapped by someone braver. Viscous things akin to a tiger are cows. They wouldn't hurt anyone unless provoked. I'd be tempted to fire the Vac tank up when the council inspector is inspecting, that would be fun. No CAP Grants here as they are more trouble than they are worth. The government don't like that either but are quite happy to allow Halal slaughter. Horrendous that is but we must be tolerant of Islam and their centuries old habits. Why? We have grown up about time they did or bugger off.
Thursday we drove down to Morcambe, it's a suburb of Lancaster. We came back with a new farm truck, a beautiful Toyota Hi-Lux. Stunning it is. It needs the load bed beefing up a bit so that we can carry a big diesel tank and the odd small excavator bucket and ripper tooth but I'll get some snaps when it's done. Morecambe is about four hours away and it was a long days driving. I ought to work for the government I could have had today off fully paid as flexi-time.

This morning on our wander I noticed some beautiful Coral Fungi. After a breakfast and yet another drool over the new truck I went out and got a few snaps.


I still haven't got my fungus book back so will content myself and you with Coral Fungus. I seem to recall there are at least half a dozen of the things and yellow ones to boot. Not sure that even the book would help. Most of these are edible and Lesley used to know which ones, a proper grown up mycologist. She baked them in a soft Scottish pancake thing one night and I survived. I remember that she cooked them off in butter then rolled all the crap out before incorporating them in the batter. I can remember enjoying them but I was a big fan of hers at the time. Still am but the feeling wasn't mutual. She hated the stink of diesel...I seem to recall I had other faults but had switched off by then. I guess that tuning out was one of them.
Have fun.

Friday, 13 October 2017

SEXTANT.

Not the instrument that used to be an extension of my right arm and told me where I wasn't after twenty minutes spherical trigonometry. This one is much more attractive and is posing on my left hand. The rain has been both continuous and torrential today so as it cleared late afternoon we all went for a wander. Fungi are leaping from the ground and I have a few snaps. Here is the star of the post.


A Sextant Beetle. They wander about sniffing out dead things with the orange bits on the end of their antennae. When they find an ex-mouse, shrew or whatever they crawl underneath and dig until it is buried. Some folk call them Burying Beetles. 
I think this is Nicrophorus vespilloides. Not sure of it's sex so will be a cool, right on left wing Londoner and say it is transgender, Londoners are sexually confused for a reason. It's not a good idea to re-cycle sewage with oestrogen in, then drink it. 
You can often tell male from female insects by looking at their bum, much like humans in fact. I see pincers which in the insect world suggests male but these are small.
 It looks to be under attack from the Mites but these are just hitching a ride to the next corpse. They are phoretic mites and as these are running about on the Beetle I'm going to guess at Poecilochitus carabi. Some types hook on and are stationary like the ones one sees on Harvestmen.
I deleted the last post as having spent a day for no reward being pumped for information by parasitic government employees I had a fall out, cut my losses came back home and cuddled a poorly horse. I couldn't identify the fungi either as my book is still AWOL.
I hope these are Honey Fungus. I have watched them for a couple of days and have never seen so many. They are all over the forest in their thousands. These are shot with the light behind and fill flash from almost head on. 

I'll have another go with an extra strobe and I'll vary the depth of field. Maybe take out all the crap in the foreground. I think a few prints of something on this stamp would be okay for Christmas.

Tuesday, 26 September 2017

MIXED RESULTS.

Five weeks ago I received an early Christmas present from my sister. It is a vaporising thingy to stop me smoking roll-ups. It is working but with a few teething problems. Getting sufficient nicotine is a major one as the strongest liquid I have found is 1.8% nicotine and as I can't inhale the vapour I have to sit for ages sucking, holding it in my mouth and breathing through my nose.
I used to smoke about 10gms of tobacco a day. I have smoked 30gms in thirty five days and the longest period without a roll-up is fifteen days. I had a major problem a couple of nights ago and my auto breathing response failed to function. I was mildly frightened until I recalled my para-medic training. I exhaled and inhaled into a paper bag and after a few repetitions everything returned to normal. This still happens and I think an inhaler full of nicotine would solve the problem, possibly more paper bags, they get all soggy with spit and gunge. Assuming such inhalers are available it would require a trip to a doctor and the last thing I want is to get on that merry-go-round. Too many of my peers have had their lives extended but the quality of life ruined by opting for medical assistance for old age. Doctors are fine if one is lying in a mangled heap under a motorbike or horse not so good when things start wearing out.
The upside of vaporising is the beauty of the atomiser heads. I now have two as I purchased a top fill one. Bottom fill are a bugger to use as the bloody liquid goes all over. Explains why they only sell it in tiny pots.
This is the original bottom fill unit. It's sitting on a bottle of Dry Tickly Cough medicine, another down side.
 This is the new one, they are beautifully made in aluminium and Pyrex. They aren't cheap but I'm hoping to get my money and more back by suing the government for stress caused by the posed pictures they pop on tobacco packaging. The lass in the CO-OP does try to find me the one showing the damage done to my unborn baby but these being popular sometimes I had to have the picture of a man with a rotten tongue or a hole in his neck. If that doesn't work I'll try the discrimination angle. All the pictures are of hideously white folk. Don't black or brown folk get cancer? Of course they do but to show suffering black people would be racist. We just have to tolerate whites suffering and the stress caused by seeing pictures of it.
Here is the vaper vaping. Grand it is, much better than the revolting e-cigarettes, not as good as a roll-up but better for me, I hope.
Have fun.

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

THAT AND THIS

I was going title the post This and That Part Two but couldn't be doing with typing "Part Two." Barmy I am.
I think they have found another Combine. The new one is all hydraulic drive and not belts like this one. This one does a wonderful job climbing the sides of the Glen but it seems a little cruel to force such labour upon her at her age.
Sorry about the video but it was 'and held with a big lens on a Cannon 5D. I know how the combine felt. I also tried to edit in Blender but the new edition had too many updates for the time I had to click here and there to work it.
Whilst I was away a wonderful occurrence occurred. I'll show you what is left.


What's left is what is left of a Lawyers Wig; Coprinus comatus. It has been deliquescing for a day or two but is 300mm tall and growing in diesel soaked ground under the big Petter 3 Phase gen set, They are edible when young  but cause hot sweats and a near death experience if one has had a drink or five. Grand in an omelette but definitely not after a night on the bevy. I find the same with Puff Balls, thank heaven the little tinkers only appear in Autumn. 
A couple of snaps of the dogs from last week.
The dogs looking for frogs, yet again.
Taking me for a walk in the Ockles. Not sure how to spell the mountain range that runs from Stirling to the Tay but it sounds like Okuls.
We will wait here as we can't read signposts or arrows....Thick dogs.
A perfect walk and we only got one good soaking for our trouble.

Poetry was the thing on the blogs I follow a week or so ago so here is a Limerick to finish today's effort. I must admit I didn't know of a Haiku. Glad I didn't, they are crap. The Hakka is terrifying. Poetry in motion for them Hakking. Poetry in motions for the recipients. This is a proper poem.

Engineers are all of one mind,
That a Ball-Race is rightly defined,
As the terrible plight
Of a Tom Cat in flight,
With a vet ten paces behind.

Have fun.




Tuesday, 19 September 2017

THIS AND THAT.

It's been a while since I posted. The world is, as ever, a turbulent place. Teresa May is still useless, Mutti Merkel seems committed to the fourth Reich. The little fat boy with the ridiculous haircut is playing with his rockets. Trump is not giving an inch and seems the only western leader with any backbone. His ex sparring partner Hilary is signing books in Costco it's about all she's fit for, I'm surprised she can spell Klintun. I guess she just draws a heart and a smiley face.
I have had a grand couple of weeks looking after a few horses and an extra dog.
Here are a few pictures.
On my return I got an aerial view of my home, not the house but the white van in the foreground. I can fly. Now I have to master walking on water and I'll be perfect.
 My birding is getting better this is a Grey Heron.
The last Swallow. All the others flew away to Africa on the eleventh but this one likes it here. It won't but then it won't last very long.
Loch Leven. I have wandered down half a dozen times looking for the six Osprey but have seen nothing but Swans and Gulls. Nothing at all today. I bet the Osprey have gone to Africa with the Swallows; little tinkers.
This is Rosa. a lovely old lady who tolerates my reprobates. They love her as she has expensive food and not the cheap working dog food mine have to survive on.

There are seven horses but Rambo is my favourite. He's seventeen hands and a half. A loving, gentle giant. Intelligent for a horse but a little clumsy. Poor lad is on box rest at the moment and has to be lunged gently twice a day. I don't get involved as it involves a long whip and other complicated things. The day I arrived he escaped from the indoor arena but was easily caught with a handful of grass. He only wanted to look at a Ducati Monster short shifting along the road outside; as did I. The speed he shot off at makes me wonder if his leg is now better. I pop in and speak to him several times a day as otherwise he gets bored and then trashes his auto drinker. Replacing all the fiddly bits in that is difficult but nigh on impossible with his help. Horses can't manipulate pipe wrenches and snipe nosed pliers but it doesn't stop him trying. He's a horse with ambition and he's not looking at me with adoration but pondering whether the camera is edible.
The summer is almost over. I'll leave you with a Rowan tree. I'll post again soon as I didn't realise how many snaps I had and I'm sure you have had enough by now.


Tuesday, 5 September 2017

STORM IN A 'B' CUP.

I am in Carnbo for a week or so. Dog sitting and hay net filling. One naughty horse has knocked a fence over so I know what I'm doing tomorrow. I have a good days work post driving and rail nailing. What fun.
Not much going on in the news. Komrade Korbyn is thinking of becoming a vegan. I would have thought it an easy decision for him. 
I suspect he may find that he has more pressing matters to occupy him when he grows up.

Katie Kambridge has just been awarded £100,000.00p for pictures of her breasts or maybe just one of them. Some folk will do anything for attention and money. I regard it as a storm in a 'B' cup.

The arena is finished and looks very smart. silica sand and carpet fibre topped with rubber chip. The horses won't know what they are walking on and will, I suspect, spend the first hour firing hapless pilots left, right and centre. They will have a comfyish landing. Be worth having a camera handy.

It looks so good that I was tempted to pick up a few leaves.

This is the arena drainage pond..........whoops, I should have said aquatic conservation area. The dogs are reasonably happy but they would prefer a frog or two. They are fascinated by frogs.
I'll ask the horses to pose for a portrait or six.....possibly seven if the new boy arrives. Maybe I'll give Brav a miss as he knocked the fence down. Clumsy horse.
Have Fun.

Friday, 1 September 2017

I'M ONLY SIXTY SEVEN.

I am going on seventy, can still edit without a tremor, still able to sort mower decks, manage simple CNC and CAD but I struggle with elaborate electronic/hydraulic systems designed by some silly South Korean tosser with nothing better to do but masturbate and programme the ridiculous.

I love and appreciate the finer things in life like the lassie I met when going for new nicotine vaping fluid. They have shops for it. Real ones with real warmish, breathing totty that talk Fifeish and answer to Shelagh. (Not all of them obviously, some answer to names like Shivon and Gale, I can't spell their names in Fifeish). Be banned quick sticks they will. Not the girls names but the shops. Apparatchiks hate folk socialising.
 I was converted and signed a loyalty card there and then like a born again Christian. I believed. Far cheaper than online and even cheaper as soon as I get five points  I get another purchase for nothing and they possibly throw the lassie in gratis. I suspect life isn't that simple or as complicated. Imagine getting landed with a goddess who thinks it normal to sally out at twenty one hundred hours wanders in at zero three zero hours and makes a right mess and noise and then surfaces at twelve hundred making more noise just when it's my nap time. I guess time will tell. I have a Vaperorized card
See.
Seems okay as far as okay goes in Cupar.

 Here are a few butterflies. It's been a wonderful year for them.


For those that don't know they are Peacock and Red Admirals. The Peacocks have the round bit at the end of the wing. It's all I see so all I can snap.
 I don't see Photoshop updates now as it's a monthly subscription job. Adobe is good but it makes the market leaders in CAD look cheap. I thought I'd persuaded Auto Desk I was a teacher. They refused on the grounds I wasn't a wanker and as I knew a little bit of the stuff, I'd have to pay two and a half grand a year plus and in US dollars. Buggers. Only government employees can afford that. Bastards. Having cut my teeth on Blender it was a joy to use. Sad I couldn't use it for free.
Have fun.


Thursday, 24 August 2017

TETRAHYDROCANNABINOL

It's been a funny week. Monday they had a bit of a do at Westminster. It was Bell End in the Elizabeth Tower. I seem to recall that we had a similar bellend ceremony at the back end of June. The opening of parliament when some of the bellends attend. Not all bellends attend as they are otherwise engaged in creative expenses accounting and are excused.
Who am I to comment I was not invited to either but on the former occasion was vibro rolling.
It's a new horse arena. Herringbone drains underneath this hardcore lead to an evaporation pond or wildlife area; whichever rings the planners bell. They also save horses landing in soggy bits, thus saving a small fortune in vets bills and preventing fit totty from mucking up their expensive togs and bruising their bums. The Vibro-roller is lovely to drive; not a Bomag, it can shake fillings loose at ten metres. As long as the horses are happy. Bugger the old man driving it, spitting fillings everywhere.

My sister has bought me a wonderful device which in theory will bring my nicotine tax contributions to the NHS to zero. Expect the idle buggers sitting at nurses stations recovering from stress to be decimated.
What a bit of kit. Sister got me a dozen different flavours to suck. Not a one says cannabis so no THC.
 I've not totally worked it out but the bit marked "A" allows one to suck harder or softer. I could do with something similar.
 I'll ask Claire if she would like a suck on it.  The her being of the MGBGT persuasion I'll ask nicely. Likely to get a slap if I'm not up to speed on acceptable words. Even 'Cor Fuck Me' is sexist these days and not a compliment as she, her, it, bends to turn a burger on the barbecue.... Likely to get thumped if I get the letters in the wrong order. She. Her. It. A Them. I couldn't give a fuck..... as I can't after prolonged sessions in a couple of intensive care units.
 Who thought it a good idea to let lasses loose with catheters. Twice in my case. Bastard nurses. Men can't help wetting the bed when full of morphine with an horrible pipe down their neck doing god knows what, sucking, slurping, dumping revolting yellow gunge in a jar. All the while one is dying for a smoke, trying to look up the sleeves of the fit one for a glimpse of a nipple, desperate to remember what 'M' number will release one from their clutches. Get used to it nurses. Clean up, he's near death, enjoy it, don't make his passing or survival worse.
I'll leave you with another Red Admiral. A good year for them here. That good I can't find the snap but you have all seen one before.
Have fun.

Saturday, 19 August 2017

OH DEER

OH DEAR. NEVER MIND. CARRY ON.
 Yet another atrocity and more virtue signalling. I suspect that singing, lighting candles and making little heart shapes with ones hands is not having the desired effect on the evil adherents of the religion of peace. Komrade Korbyn has suggested legislating to control the hire of vans. Tough on vans, tough on the causes of vans. The bloke has soup for brains. Our western governments are not fit for purpose. It's time to start hitting mosques and Mullahs, demolishing the former and incarcerating the latter. I feel very sorry for folk in London. Having Sad Dick as mayor and Dick of the Yard as the voices of reason doesn't bode well.
Here is the Deer.
I could go on and on and on but until we start insisting on western values there seems little point.


Tuesday, 15 August 2017

HAIRCUT.

The dogs are looking very smart having had a haircut last Friday.
 
Before.

After.

Today I am back at the van and have been butterfly snapping. 

Before I get to the butterflies this magnificent creature crawled out from under a load of boards, I had a problem getting pictures as I had a 400mm lens and it will only focus at about two metres. I got her to crawl onto my hand but she flew away and landed in a flower pot.
She then flew back again.
It's a Horn Tailed wasp. They are massive but can't sting or at least I don't think they can. I wish I'd had a macro lens with me but at least I've seen one and not just the holes they bore in fallen pine logs.
Lots of butterflies about but I'll show just a couple of Peacocks.
I like how this one turned out.
Have fun, I'll see what else I can find and be back soon.

Tuesday, 8 August 2017

I AM BAFFLED.

It seems that every time I switch on the radio or pick up a paper the subjects being debated and discussed are MGBGTXYZ folk. I suppose it makes a change from their discussing rogue asteroids, global warming and parlous state of the NHS, which in days of yore was normal August fare. I even noticed pictures of MGB people dressed up as giant vaginas; one was sporting sunglasses, a first for me, must be what they call FGM. Last weekend I had a good friend staying, she is a lesbian, despite my best efforts I've yet to find a cure. I am surprised we are still friends as years ago when we first met she asked me how I viewed lesbian relationships. In HD was neither the answer she was expecting nor one she approved of. 
It rather looks as if the combine will be working today so on with the dust mask and off to work we go.
Here are a couple of butterflies. The first is a Red Admiral and the second is one of the Whites. 
And a few Sulphur Tuft.
 Have fun, I am away at a show this weekend, the dogs are having a haircut so I'll be back next week.